Microwave vs. Oven

from a blog I regularly read...

A few weeks back I wrote “4 Things I Hope All Senior Pastors Know About Youth Ministry“.  While this post received many thoughts, comments, and emails, one point that I wanted to develop was that youth ministry leaders need time in order to develop quality youth ministries.  In my opinion far too many youth ministries have a microwave mindset as opposed to a oven mindset.

Often in youth ministry the thought is that we have to do ministry or produce results as quickly as possible.  While the desire to produce a strong, viable, and sustainable youth ministry quickly is understood, the reality is that in order for the ministry to be any of these, the ministry and the leadership team will need the correct amount of “time” and “care” to fully develop.  This does not mean that nothing can be done quickly it just means that there needs to be a process put in place as you gather and grow the ministry. Here are some thoughts:

• Microwave youth ministry
• Microwave youth ministry may get hot quickly but the quality of the ministry is not as effective.
• Microwave youth ministry can come in a convenient package but often the wrapping of the package looks better than the actual product inside.
• Microwave youth ministry comes with everything already in the package so it doesn’t allow you to add your own “real” ingredients.
• Oven youth ministry
• Oven youth ministry will take longer but the heat will go throughout the “whole” meal and when the food is done it will be heated evenly.
• Oven youth ministry allows you to use a cook book (our book is the Bible) so that you can plan and develop the meal based on on the needs of those you are serving.
• Oven youth ministry will allow you to prepare more for more people as opposed to the microwave, which allows you to only have a certain amount.
• Oven youth ministry allows you to add your own ingredients without being limited to what is in the box.

Questions: What would you add to the elements of a microwave or oven youth ministry? Do you see a benefit to microwave youth ministry? How would you suggest that we ensure that our youth ministries are more oven than microwave?

10 Don'ts of Being a Small Group Leader

Being an effective small group leader means doing a lot of things well.

It also means NOT doing a lot of things.

This is a list of what I believe to be some of the most common “don’ts” of being a small group leader. (I’d love to see what you would add.)

1. Don’t play favorites.

This is tough. I think sometimes we do it subconsciously. We will be naturally drawn to some students based on our and their personalities. But, we have to be aware of this tendency and work to give each student his or her fair amount of attention.

2. Don’t join with other students in making fun of a student.

Even if it’s good-natured. It’s easy to fall in to this, especially with guys. It starts out with a few guys messing with each other. pointed but relatively harmless jabbing. But the moment your voice is added to the chorus, it changes. You’re an adult. And your words have a lot more weight. Stay away from making fun of a student, even if it’s a joke.

3. Don’t let details fall through the cracks.

This one owns me. I struggle more with this than anything on this list. Just this week I put a mother in an not so great position with her son because I had not communicated as clearly as I should have. Details will kill you. Do not let them slip through the cracks.

4. Don’t make a student’s parent look bad.

No matter who strict, or overbearing they may be, never do anything to undermine your students’ parents. Even in cases where a parent or parents might actually be pretty crummy, it’s better to talk up the biblical ideal of parents (and even the perfect Father we have in God) and parenting than to talk down a students’ parents.

5. Don’t laugh at the wrong jokes.

I have been guilty of laughing at jokes I shouldn’t laugh at, almost out of nervousness. (But let’s be honest: sometimes they’re funny.) I learned that silence is the best discourager. When you’re the only one not laughing, no lecture is needed. The point has been made.

6. Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.

I have learned the hard way on this one. When you say you’re going to a game, you better make every effort to get there.

7. Don’t expect more than you are willing to put in yourself.

Over the years I have found myself asking students to be more diligent in certain areas, spiritually, than I myself was being. Or to have a higher level of commitment to our group that even I had. This is easy for students to spot. And it will always come back to bite you.

8. Don’t forget about mom and/or dad.

You simply must make an effort to get to know the parents of your small group guys or girls. Some will be easier to track down than others. And some will be easier to get along with than others. No matter. Make the effort.

9. Don’t talk negatively about someone else.

This can be easy when a student is sharing how another person unfairly treated him or her, or even when students are talking about a celebrity or someone they don’t know. Before you know it, you’ve joined in with a comment here or there. The best thing we can do is take it back to Scripture and how Christ taught us to love even our enemies. Easy? Not always. But, it’s the right thing to do.

10. Don’t break a student’s trust.

This may be the biggest “Don’t” on the list. Trust is hard to earn, and once lost, hard to earn back.


I’d love to see what you would add. Have another “Don’t”? Add it in the comment section below.


Andy Blanks is the co-founder of youthministry360. Andy has worked in youth ministry for 12 years, almost exclusively writing, designing, developing curriculum. Andy is a volunteer youth leader with his church’s youth group, leading a small group and speaking and teaching whenever he gets the chance. He is a teacher at heart and loves to challenge teenagers and youth workers alike through his writing and speaking.

Small Group Discussion Starters

If you're ever looking for a few good questions to get your group talking, here is a list of 102.  Obviously, not all of these will work for your group, but a lot will.  Take a look and see what you think!  This is from thesource4ym.com.

Here are some classic (generic) and random questions to break the ice in your small group. 

1. What's your name and your favorite pizza?


2. If you were a car, what would you be and why?


3. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?


4. Tell us your name and something about the shoes you're wearing. (You never know what they'll come up with. It's fun and safe.)


5. If we were at Baskin Robbins (or local ice cream place), what flavor ice cream would you order?


6. What’s your favorite type of animal and why? (Another good question is: What animal would you be if you had to choose one?)


7. What’s your favorite car and why? (Another good question is: What car would you be if you had to choose one?)


8. What’s your favorite cartoon and why?


9. What is the first cartoon you remember watching? And, if you could live in a perfect world, which cartoon world would you live in? Why?


10. If you could hang out with a cartoon character, who would you choose and why?


11. What’s your favorite thing to do in the summer?


12. If you could visit anywhere, including fictional places, where would you visit and why? And who would you bring with you?


13. What historic time period would you most like to visit, and tell why?


14. Would you rather live near the beach or the mountains?


15. If you could have any occupation in the world, what would it be and why?


16. When you get older, do you think you’ll stay in this area or head for some place far, far away?


17. What is one item in your house that you should really throw out but probably never will?


18. How many brothers and sisters do you have? What are their ages?


19. When you were little, who were you most likely to imagine yourself as?


20. What did you get into trouble for most when you were younger?


21. What makes a house an actual home?


22. One thing I love/hate about my parents is ____________.


23. What do you think you’d like about it? What would be challenging about it for you?


24. Who is your favorite teacher and why?


25. Are you a morning or night person?


26. What would your family say you're like first thing in the morning?


27. What’s your favorite room in the house and why?


28. If you get a day off school (not because you’re sick; more like because of teacher conferences), what do you do?


29. What's the weirdest thing you eat at home?


30. What's the weirdest thing you've eaten outside of home?


31. How often are you caught posing, making faces, or performing in front of a mirror?


32. When was the last time you said or did something stupid or goofy and realized someone you really like overheard or saw you? What was it you'd said or done? How did they react? How did you react?


33. What goofy or funny thing does anyone in your family do to make you laugh?


34. After an argument, who in the family is most likely to apologize first – if at all?


35. What does someone in your family do for you that helps you most?


36. Name one of your favorite things about your mom or dad.


37. Share a quirky habit you have. How long have you had it?


38. How have you seen either or both of your parents mature in the last year?


39. Share a time when someone in your family did something that made you proud.


40. If you could relive your childhood, how would you like to be different?


41. Would you rather dress casual or dress up when you go out with friends or family?


42. If they made a movie of your life, who would you want to play you?


43. If someone made a movie of your life, would it be a comedy, a romantic-comedy, a drama, action, or science fiction?


44. Have you ever been told you look like someone famous? If so, who?


45. What's the worst thing you did as a little kid? (smeared cheese on the wall, accidentally called Japan, called one of your mom's friends' fat, inadvertently downloaded Pentagon files to your dad’s computer, etc.)


46. Tell us your name and what you like to do to relax.


47. What is the greatest song ever written, and by whom?


48. Finish the following statements:
    
    
    • The most creative solution to a problem I’ve ever used was…
    
    
    • One time I remember doing more than I thought I was able to do was…
    
    
    • One thing I think God wants me to share with others is…
    
    
    • One consequence (result) of a choice I’ve made was…
    
    
    • (Option to above: One negative consequence (result) of a choice I’ve made was… or One positive consequence (result) of a choice I’ve made was…)
    
    
    • I really crack up when…
    
    
49. Is there anything you would willingly give your life for?


50. Would you rather have bad breath or bad body odor?


51. What is the one item you treasure the most and what would you do if it broke? (You could use this one to talk about the fall of man…God’s creation breaks.)
    
52. Dogs or cats… One has to be voted into extinction and the entire planet is all tied up. You have the deciding vote. Who stays? Who goes?


53. You have the exact same meal for the next 12 months. What do you pick?


54. What’s the best birthday present you could ever imagine receiving, and who would you want to receive it from?


55. When you put on shoes, do you put them on sock/sock/shoe/shoe or sock/shoe/sock/shoe?


56. What is one thing you can do that you think no-one else in the group can do?


57. What would you do with the money if you would win the lotto (like 100 million dollars or so)? *This society is very materialistic and lots of times kids think that way. A question like this sometimes can get at the heart of what they “think” would make them happy. (“If I only had this car, this house, this new gadget…”)


58. What would be your desert island… meal/pet/DVD/etc.?


59. What is your favorite website to visit when you get on the internet?


60. What is one movie that everyone loved but you hated? …or What is one movie that everyone hated but you loved?”


61. What has God been teaching you lately? (This one is good if you are discipling a student)


62. If you could cure one illness, what would it be?


63. If you could know the date of your death, would you want to?


64. If you could ask God one question, what would it be?


65. What is one irrational fear you have?


66. Do you bunch or fold your toilet paper?


67. Which characteristic of the person to your left is your favorite? Or… what is your favorite characteristic about yourself?


68. What’s your earliest memory? Or favorite memory?


69. What’s the biggest lie someone ever told you?


70. What was your favorite toy when you were a kid?


71. When you were growing up, was there any childhood toy that you REALLY wanted, but you never got? What was it? (*This question could be used to lead into a talk about “heavenly treasure”; that a lot of the things we chase after will be obsolete in a couple of years and that we all somehow manage to survive without the things we thought we couldn’t live without.)


72. If you could go back and change one thing about this week, what would it be? (Or… if you could do today over again, what one thing would you do differently?)


73. If you were a vegetable, which one would you be and why?


74. What is one thing you wish people knew, or understood about you, but you do not think they do?


75. What is it that easily embarrasses you?


76. What’s your favorite type of cheese? (i.e. American, Cheddar, Gouda, Bleu, Mozzarella, Cheese Sticks, etc.)


77. You’ve just sat down to used the restroom when you notice there is no toilet paper what do you use and why?


78. When replacing the toilet paper do you choose to have the paper dispense from over the top or underneath?


79. If you were stuck in an elevator for 24 hours with one person, who would you like that person to be?


80. If you knew Jesus was coming back tomorrow, who would you want to make sure knew about Him as the Savior today?


81. What do you call it…soda, pop, soda-pop, carbonated beverage (for those sophisticated folk) or everything is called coke?


82. If you could dispense any condiment out of your pinky finger, what would you choose and why?


83. Which is worse, failing or never trying?


84. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?


85. If you were a toiletry item, what would you be and why? (Example: “I would be a straightener because I’m hot” or “I would be lotion because I’m smooth.”)


86. Would you rather be vomited on by a stranger or be the one vomiting on a stranger?


87. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all drown?


88. If you were a Crayola crayon color, what color would you be?


89. Has anything bad ever happened to you that turned out to be for the best?


90. What was the last thing you cried about?


91. What was the best gift you ever received for Christmas and what was the best gift you ever gave?


92. If I were to grab your iPod/iPhone and hook it to the sound system and hit shuffle and play, how many of you would be nervous as to which song would come up? Why?


93. Who is your best friend and what are some reasons why they are your best friend? What makes them the best?


94. If you could change one thing about your high school, what would it be? (* You often find out a lot of surprising things that go on in high schools with this one.)


95. If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing before you started high school, what would it be?


96. What do you think is one of the biggest misconceptions people have about teenagers? (*This one helps them think about how teens are portrayed and how others perceive them; whether or not they think those judgments are fair and accurate; how they can change them.)


97. My life would be better if… ? (This one is good for discussion on what we think will bring us happiness and also for recognizing the blessings in our lives.)


98. What is one thing that you admire or like about the person sitting to your right?


99. If you could repeat any day in your life, which day would that be and why?


100. What was your best smell of the day? What was your worst?


101. When you were little, who was your favorite super hero and why?


102. If we formed a Justice League of Not So Super Heroes and chose five members who have extraordinarily lame super powers… who are they and what are their not so great powers? (*This could be followed with 1 Peter 1:3-8, about the “qualities” (true super powers) his “divine power has given us” that keep us from being “ineffective and unproductive.” You also could then have students draw pictures of them in “comic book” fashion.)

Addition of another group!!

This week, 9/11/2011, we are adding one more group to our hall!  We are going to have Ashley Armstrong going in with our Juniors, while the Seniors will stay with Clint and Allison.  We have cleared out the previous storage room for the Jrs to use!

Can't wait for this Sunday!

One final note...we have had so many guests join us in the past few weeks.  Let's be sure we're following up the best way we can with them.  If you need guest cards on Sunday let Kirk or Lauren know!

See you Sunday!

10 Tips to a First Encounter

Posted By: Chris Davis on September 07 2011

 It doesn't matter if you are a youth pastor, small group leader, sunday school teacher, or you work in the snack bar, first encounters with students can be difficult. Here are 10 tips to make it easier:

1. Say hello! Don’t be shy! Take the initiative to introduce yourself. Although their body language may be showing otherwise, students want a warm welcome!

2. Understand the context Let your surroundings and circumstances dictate how to begin the conversation. For instance, if you’re meeting at a food place, talk about what’s good to eat, at a movie theater, what movie to see, etc.

3. Pay attention You’ll learn a lot about people from their body language and the words and phrases they use. Listen and watch carefully.

4. Pay attention, part 2 Your own body language will determine how willing and interested you are to actually have a conversation. Be authentic. Students know whether you are genuinely interested or not.

5. Let’em shine! Encourage students to talk about themselves by asking about their interests, tattoos, jewelry, bad breath, etc.

6. Be careful Trust takes time. And while you want to get the person talking, be careful not to get too personal too fast. Be patient.

7. Be smart If you ask a yes or no question, that’s the answer you’ll get. Begin your questions with phrases such as, “What do you think about…” or “How do you feel about…” These are called “open ended” questions. Try them. They work!


8. Finish strong Be wise in how you close your conversation. If you promised anything (to pray, to get information, etc.) be sure to follow through and to have an e-mail address or phone number. Students these days remember everything!


9. Share the love! If the person is new, take some time to introduce him to others. Don’t keep him all to yourself. Find someone his age and introduce him.


10. Next step? If the conversation reveals the individual has certain interests, make an effort to introduce him to the right people to talk more about those areas of interest. This provides an instant connection for students.

Any other tips you'd want to add?

Tips for being an Effective YouthLeader

Occasionally it's a good idea to remind ourselves of a few all-important tips to be able to effectively lead in our Youth Ministry...here's a list of some of the things we should continually work on...

Be as early as you can, and stay as long as you can.
Believe it or not, students love it when they walk in and find a familiar face--a familiar ADULT face. They may not say it, but they do. And before they leave is the time when they are most likely to share what's going on in their lives. Students will begin arriving by 9am most Sunday mornings...5:45pm most Wednesday evenings. They'll leave for worship on Sundays, and on Wednesdays they will stay until we kick them out! Whatever you can do to help in this area would be awesome!

Consistency matters.
When everyone can count on you being there, we are a more successful youth ministry. Of course, life happens, and sometimes you just can't make it. We all get that...we all deal with things in our lives, too. Just remember that our students like to know what's happening and who's going to be there. Consistency matters.

Communication outside the church.
An email, a text, a FaceBook message, a Twitter DM...remembering a birthday, an anniversary, a school project, tests, a game, a concert, and the list could go on and on. You can't be at everything, and neither can I. And our students love us to be there to show support. They love getting those "Great game!" messages and those that let them know you remembered something important to them. Find the way that is most comfortable for you to communicate and dedicate a small portion of time each week to that.

Be yourself.
Show joy...show sadness. Students need to know that our emotions are real and not forced. Sometimes we like to put on a face that is completely opposite what we feel to avoid questions and remarks. Our students need to see us deal with things not being perfect in our lives.

Be generous.
with your time, with your efforts, with your attention. Be generous in everything.

Read well.
It's important to read things on Youth Ministry, things on theology, articles, books, journals. I am always reading something in these areas. Perhaps where we need to improve would be to all read a little something together every now and then and talk about it.

Avoid YouthLeader groups.
We all love to spend time together and catch up on the week, etc. I would encourage each of us to spend time doing that somewhere else. Our students want to be the most important thing going on...and our job is to help them understand that God is the most important thing going on. We can do that better when we choose to pay attention to our students over our group of YouthLeaders.

Engage in what is going on.
I know the couches are comfortable, and it's easier to stay there and kinda check out of what is happening. But how much more will our students get out of our time together when they see each of us sitting with them involved with them. I realize I'm the worst at this. After giving a few brief moments of announcements or whatever that is I do, I leave to get over the LifeSong prep. I know that doesn't say very much about how important I think the youth ministry is...please know I'm working on solutions to this.

Maybe there's more...what might you add to these items?

New Curriculum to Begin September 11!